I turned up eagerly in shiny navy and bright jade.
I was looking forward to learning.
I was looking forward to friendships.
I was looking forward to distance from bullies.
I was looking forward to an environment away from my parents.
My first week of high school destroys all those aspirations – but grade 11 was a good year.
It was a good year because
– suddenly classes were smaller and focused
– relationships at school and elsewhere were established
– my faith had deepened and sharpened
– my playlist widened
This month I’ve been returning to the albums on repeat that year.
1. Moondance, Van Morrison
2. Slightly Odway, Jebediah (I’d forgotten all the swearing)
3. Take Five, Dave Brubeck
My Dad has a theory about making friendships as an adult.
It goes like this:
“Recognise you will not make friends.
Do something you like regularly and be interested in people.
Wait two years – then you have friends in your interest groups.”
This year routine has helped. I see the same small groups of people consistently. I feel so safe and valued.
Individual friendship and other things have been good, but these are my groups.
1. Gin club
I started this in late 2015. Every couple of months we assemble on the back deck, taste 3 new gins and then head downstairs for a cocktail at the bar. Four Pillars Bloody Shiraz is my stand out fave.
2. Writers’ group
Kamina started this in 2016. Each Wednesday we head to Black Sheep Coffee to drink, chat and write.
3. Cheese Club
This had been happening in a haphazard way with some old friends. We solidified the plans at the start of 2017, to meet every six weeks. We gather for dinner, a board game and to try different cheese platters. The most enjoyment has come from Red Leicester and a reduction in the frequency of Flashpoint.
So why has this been helpful?
I commit to doing things with people.
I invest in relationships.
I see people regularly.
It’s hard but consistency has been good.
They’ve seen the ebb and flow of my recovery – they are always safe people with whom to spend time.
I am known and loved. I am in authentic and meaningful relationships.
So pick a thing you like doing. Start doing it.
Or ask a friend or acquaintance to do it with you.
Doing an activity together builds relationship.
Daily Insta feeds I like
1. Introvert Doodles – also her book!
funny, relatable, cute
2. Amanda Gist
chronciled journey of recovery, reminder it is long and never reaches past tense
3. Awkward Yeti
it says the things that resonate in my heart
BONUS: Dogs being basic
Bands keeping me smiling this week.
- Kero Kero Bonito (British/Japanese hip hop)
- Kitty, Daisy & Lewis (British band with oldschool Rockabilly and Jazz Fusion)
- Lindsay Stirling (American – violins in everything)
Three things making me smile today.
- Recap of good Aussie craft beer in 2016 – Froth Magazine
- Support for not having it figured out in 2017 – Allie Illuminated
- Reminder of opportunity in 2018 – Dogs being basic